The Nine Phrases That Can Boost Your Relationship Success, According to a Harvard-Trained Psychologist

5/27/20253 min read

two person holding papercut heart
two person holding papercut heart

The Nine Phrases That Can Boost Your Relationship Success, According to a Harvard-Trained Psychologist

Introduction:

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to forget the importance of maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. Whether it's with a romantic partner, family member, or friend, relationships require effort, communication, and a willingness to understand and support one another. According to Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. John Gottman, there are nine phrases that can significantly improve the success and happiness of your relationships. In this blog post, we'll explore each of these phrases and provide practical tips on how to incorporate them into your daily conversations.

  1. "I appreciate you."

Expressing appreciation is a powerful way to show your loved ones that you value and respect them. According to Dr. Gottman, couples who regularly express appreciation to each other are more likely to stay together and report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. Take a moment each day to thank your partner, friend, or family member for something they've done or who they are as a person.

  1. "I'm sorry."

Apologizing can be difficult, especially if you feel that you've done nothing wrong. However, admitting fault and expressing remorse can go a long way in repairing and strengthening your relationships. When you make a mistake, own up to it and offer a sincere apology. This simple act can help to rebuild trust and foster a deeper sense of connection.

  1. "Can you help me understand?"

Effective communication is essential for any successful relationship. When disagreements arise, it's crucial to approach the conversation with a willingness to understand your partner's perspective. Rather than jumping to conclusions or becoming defensive, ask open-ended questions that demonstrate your desire to learn more about their thoughts and feelings.

  1. "I understand."

Empathy is a powerful tool for building connections and fostering understanding. When your loved one shares their thoughts, feelings, or experiences with you, take a moment to acknowledge and validate their emotions. By simply saying, "I understand," you can create a safe and supportive space for open and honest communication.

  1. "I trust you."

Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. By expressing your trust in your partner, friend, or family member, you're demonstrating your confidence in their abilities and intentions. Make a point to regularly express your trust and support, and work together to maintain a strong and healthy bond.

  1. "I'm proud of you."

Recognizing and celebrating your loved one's achievements can help to build confidence and foster a sense of pride in their accomplishments. Whether it's a promotion at work, a personal milestone, or a simple act of kindness, take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate their successes.

  1. "What do you think?"

Encouraging open and honest communication is key to maintaining a successful relationship. By asking for your loved one's thoughts and opinions, you're demonstrating your respect for their perspective and inviting them to share their ideas and feelings. This simple question can help to foster a sense of collaboration and mutual understanding.

  1. "I love you."

Expressing love and affection is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. By regularly telling your partner, friend, or family member that you love them, you're reinforcing your commitment and dedication to the relationship. Make a point to express your love in both words and actions, and work together to create a loving and supportive environment.

  1. "Can we talk?"

Open and honest communication is essential for resolving conflicts and maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. By initiating a conversation and expressing your desire to talk, you're demonstrating your commitment to understanding and addressing any issues that may arise. Make a point to regularly check in with your loved one and create a safe and supportive space for open and honest communication.

Conclusion:

Incorporating these nine phrases into your daily conversations can help to boost the success and happiness of your relationships. By expressing appreciation, empathy, trust, and love, you can create a strong and supportive bond with your partner, friends, and family members. Remember to approach each conversation with a willingness to understand and support one another, and work together to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Thought Questions:

  1. Which of these nine phrases do you currently use in your relationships?

  2. How can you incorporate more of these phrases into your daily conversations?

  3. What steps can you take to foster a more supportive and understanding environment in your relationships?

  4. How can you encourage open and honest communication in your relationships?

  5. How can you express your love and appreciation for your loved ones in both words and actions?